Frequently Asked Questions about Spiritual Direction

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"Soul Friend" comes from an ancient Celtic practice called Anam Cara (or, soul friend). These were spiritual guides who accompanied people on their life's journey. This was not a hierarchical relationship, but one of friendship and mutuality. There are many models of spiritual direction, but this is the model that most resonates with how I work and how God best works through me. 

Always remember, spiritual direction is different from therapy or coaching. A director is not meant to give you advice, or a plan, or tell you what to do. As your soul friend, I understand that there's no "certain number of steps spiritual program" to the spiritual life.  Your life, your spirit, your soul, and your story are so much more intricate and beautiful than can be captured by a "director" simply giving you instructions, directions, or advice. Soul friendship is about listening to you and the Holy Spirit, and therefore empowering you to notice the sacred in your everyday life.

I'm so glad you asked!

I grew up in San Diego, California and have lived in the Northwest, the East Coast, the Central Coast of California, and have settled this last decade-plus in the mountains of Durango, Colorado. I live here with my wonderful wife, our amazing adult son with special needs, our dog Deacon, a cat, and our chickens.  We also have a grown daughter who's pursuing her passion for dance. We love being in a smaller community and in a place that offers us access to the outdoors right in our own backyard (always remember, for those who can meet in person, we can easily schedule hikes and walks). I enjoy writing, painting, playing music, and binge-watching shows on Netflix (always up for a good recommendation)!  

I served as a minister in the Presbyterian Church for over twenty years and have since been inspired and always honored to offer spiritual direction.  Raising my kids, loving my wife, serving people, and working with people of all ages, kinds, and backgrounds has shaped my life and my spiritual journey more than anything else.  These experiences are primarily what I bring and offer in spiritual direction and soul friendship. 

Additionally, because I love this kind of work so much and have felt called to it most of my life, I hold a Bachelor's in Religion from Whitworth University, a Master's of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary, and a Doctorate in Spiritual Direction from Fuller Theological Seminary.  This is truly my passion! 

That's a bit more about me.  I'd love to get to know you!

You could say the goal of spiritual direction and soul friendship, is to help us "see the Divine in all things." We are all spiritual beings and our souls are a big part of life's journey. Unfortunately, we often compartmentalize our lives in such way as to not be able to see all the connections, or, many times, neglect the spiritual part of our lives altogether. As a soul friend offering spiritual direction, I work with you to get in touch with your deepest self, the truest parts of your life, and connect with what is most important.

The benefits of spiritual direction are many.  For some it's the only hour in a month they get to quiet their mind, body, and soul to reconnect with themselves.  For some the encouragement of a soul friend is much needed for inspiration, comfort, and counsel. For others it's the challenge of deepening their daily lives and looking for a guide to help. Soul friendship is not a cure all; it's about really living in real life.

Anyone looking to deepen their spirituality! If you're genuinely searching and seeking for a deeper, truer, and fuller life then you will find a kindred spirit in a soul friend. 

NO. Soul friendship and spiritual direction are a place to be real and dive deep.  Therefore, spiritual direction is a judgement free and safe space.  There are no "prerequisites" for seeking spiritual direction and all people from all walks of life are welcome. If you're visiting this page and reading these FAQ's, you are plenty spiritually curious enough to connect with and benefit from a soul friend!

Many times people on the journey of life feel "stuck." Perhaps old tools and practices are no longer "working" as they once did. Many times someone is facing a big decision, or a new chapter of life and they seek a partner in discerning what lies ahead. Many times people are simply looking for a spiritual "check-up" to help them better assess and understand themselves and their own spiritual health. Many times people's view of the spiritual life, God, faith, practices, or theology are at a crossroads and in that space a spiritual director can serve as a kind of "mid-wife" into what's next for them.

The goal of any given session is to assist you in noticing the sacred in your life. Therefore, sessions are individualized to best meet you, your present practices, particular longings, needs, and place in life.  However, there's typically a lot of sharing from you and a lot of attentive listening from me. Working together, we'll listen to all the parts of your life, often discerning the story your own life is telling you. To do this, we might spend time in silence, prayer, and meditation, just talking things through.  Additionally, I might offer tools and resources for times between our meetings (but there's no tracking "assignments" and no grades!).

Typically we'll meet once a month.  It's important to recognize that this is not "therapy," "coaching," or "problem solving."  Good spiritual direction trusts in the slow ongoing work of God, and often the best "direction" is what happens between sessions.  There are, of course, times in life when meeting more frequently is necessary, and we can arrange that individually. 

BTW.  If at any time we need to take a break or discontinue, that is completely okay.  We can both trust that the Divine is working in a new and different direction.